Since my dating life is currently on hold right now, I have decided to write about my girlfriends'. This is not an arrangement we've formally discussed, but I consider it compensation for the time I spend listening to their dating woes on the phone each day (btw, this can become quite an undertaking when you hang out with a lot of single girls who are actively dating).
So one of my girlfriends has been "hanging out" with a guy for close to two months. I say "hanging out," because that's as far as he'll let it be defined. Now, she's no shrinking violet. In fact, she has tried several times to talk to him about their "situation." Each time, she is rebuffed and asked "why do we have to put a label on it? I don't want to be pushed into anything and I feel like you are trying to do that." This is the same guy who took her to his parents' home in Santa Barbara and introduced her to them...mixed signals??
This particular girlfriend is drop dead gorgeous, and not in that seven-layer caked on makeup way, but in that natural wake 
up and look amazing way. She has the body of a dancer and also happens to be really freaking cool. The guy that she is pursuing looks like he could do stand-in for Adam Duritz.
My friend has even gone as far as telling him that she just wants to have "fun." She will text him in the middle of the night after having gone out and ask if he wants her to come over...now I ask you- what guy would say no to that??!! Her texts go unnoticed, and unresponded. Then the next day, he will say "maybe we can hang out tuesday," and of course, as a woman, we spend the entire tuesday getting ready (i.e- wax, shaving legs, hair, clothes, perfume, cleaning, etc..). Then he texts, yes TEXTS, not calls and says "I just really feel like I'm getting sick and have had a bad day, lets do another day."
I can imagine that after reading this, you are probably going to say, "she needs to drop the zero and move on." Here is the clincher, though: this guy is not a minority...he is becoming the new hybrid of LA...
Here is my theory as to how this hybrid species came into existence. LA is a land known for its magnetic draw of the most beautiful people around the world. Becoming large fish in their small towns, they begin to feel that maybe their interests might be better served, moving to a larger pond- LA. However, they soon realize that although they were once 9's in their small communities, maybe now they have been bumped to a 6 by LA standards. If their entire ego/self-worth has been built on something as flimsy as "being pretty," then their self-esteems can easily crumble in the face of staunch competition.
So when some Adam Duritz dimwit walks along and has the smallest bit of misguided confidence, a girl that might normally not even give him a second look, is now starved for his attention and affection. However, this is not his first stroke of luck. In fact, he is accustomed to women throwing themselves at him in their attempts to redeem their already unstable and tenuous links to self-worth. So this cycle then reinforces and perpetuates his attitude of indifference toward all females (which only make him more desirable).
We, then begin to have hundreds of beautiful females throwing themselves at guys who likely spend their days burping, 
scratching, and farting while watching TV, and live with their moms (recall Will Ferrell's character "Chazz" in Wedding Crashers). So then you get a guy who has an over-inflated sense of self that then meets someone like my girlfriend. While she is also beautiful, she has other characteristics that give her substance. She is a phenomenal dancer. She has an Ivy League education. She has a wicked sense of humor. So you can imagine she might be a bit thrown off when someone like him rebuffs her...maybe even a little intrigued.
So what's the solution ? How do we prevent the further propagation of this new hybrid species and lead to their extinction before they begin migrating to the midsection of our country and infecting those good ol' boys back home?
Dude DSM-IV Diagnosis- Man of Indifference
Presentation: This new species of man has evolved out of an excess of available women who have created an inflated sense of worth within him. This event has brought him to the idea that he must throw away the 8's, keep the 9's on hold, and wait for his deserved perfect 10...because after all, who wouldn't want to sit by and cook him dinners while he plays endless hours of Halo, shouting at 12 year old boys from different parts of the world (he's so well cultured...)??
Prognosis- Very good for him, until the female species' spine starts to resurface...
Latest Comments